Many pieces must all fit together in order for inclusion to work well. The school team and their willingness to provide the supports necessary immediately come to mind. Then there is a child’s desire to be in a general education classroom and how well the general education classroom fosters their ability to achieve their goals. But, an equally important piece of the puzzle, is the other kids and their parents.
Recently, there was an ignorant letter circling the internet. A parent of a “typically developing” child didn’t want her child around a developmentally delayed friend and asked the parent to keep their child away from hers.
Anytime this type of ignorance is brought to light, run through the full gamut of negative emotions including anger, fear, and sadness. Ultimately, I end up with a pit in my stomach and more questions than usual about the true feelings of the other parents in my son’s class. I start to question how they really feel about my son being in their child’s classroom and whether or not they see his immense value. I keep this in the back of my mind and use it as a reason to build a wall around my heart.
Fortunately, my son’s classmates and their parents continue to give me many reasons to break down that wall and trust that they genuinely appreciate my son and love him for the kind, charismatic, good friend that he is. Their attitudes and what they teach their children are a piece of the inclusion puzzle I don’t ever take for granted.
This weekend we attended our first birthday party for a classmate. It was for one of my son’s good friends that always makes sure he is included. Meeting this sweet friend’s mom reminded of the truly amazing parents that do exist. Words can’t do justice to the gratitude in my heart, but I will try to convey my appreciation because all hard-working, kind parents should be recognized. I see you; and I know that your caring parenting is making the world a more safe, positive place for my son.
I am grateful to parents that are raising children who refuse to let a classmate eat alone. To the parents whose daughter always watches out for her peers and makes sure everybody is included; thank you! To the parents raising a son who asks everybody to join the game so nobody will have to stand on the sidelines alone, I salute you! For all the parents that have kids that use kind and encouraging words with their peers and never put anybody down for their differences; high five. For the parents that don’t “shhhh” their kids when they point out differences, but instead take the time to talk with their kids and teach them that our differences are what make the world an interesting and better place, you are making a positive impact. And for all parents that understand your kids are watching and model inclusive, kind behavior, job well done! Thank you for taking the time and working hard to raise kids with kind hearts and open-minds.
From a parent that has to rely heavily on the jobs that other parents are doing in order for my child to be included and celebrated for his talents; from the bottom of my heart, I thank you!
Being the parent of a child with Down syndrome can be a vulnerable and lonely place. From this place, I have developed a deep appreciation for great parenting. I have to rely on the work of other parents so my child will be given the opportunities he deserves to reach his fullest potential and that can be terrifying (especially for a control freak like me). But quality parents help to ease my nerves and give me hope for the future.
In the new year and beyond, let’s all keep working hardest at our most important job; parents. It isn’t easy, but with our attentive and kind parenting today, we are changing the world for our kids and giving them a brighter future. I promise to always teach each of my children, kindness first. After all, we are all in this together!