Yesterday was our first “practice day” for completing our morning routine and getting to school on time. On the drive over, I felt weirdly at ease. I was so excited and thinking about what a great school year this will be that I didn’t feel even the slightest tinge of nerves. The logical part of my brain has partnered with my heart and are currently winning the battle with the “creative” part of my brain that can draw up some concerning “what if” scenarios. For our practice run, we broke out his brand new Arizona Cardinals backpack for the first time and it was the final piece that made everything click for Jackson. He smiled and was excited when we got there on as we walked up to the kindergarten entrance. On the way home, he said, “I want school today” and I said to myself, “we are going to be fine.”
With school starting in one week (YIKES!) here are some of the worries (no wait, positive vibes only) let’s say, “thoughts” instead, I have about my son starting kindergarten in a general education classroom.
What if he doesn’t click with his teacher and/or paraprofessional?
I understand this isn’t a concern unique to me and other parents of a child with Down syndrome. All parents, especially those of kindergarteners, want their child to love their first elementary school teacher. I still remember my kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Brewer. She was the stereotypical kindergarten teacher with a soft, cheerful voice, reassuring smile and positivity oozing out of her head-to-toe. I desperately want Jackson to click with his teacher and para but not just because that makes for a happier kindergarten year and warm, fuzzy memories, but because it is necessary for him to succeed. For us, the “click” is imperative because with it, he will work super hard for that person and he will accomplish goals left and right. Without it, things will not go as smoothly.
Will his teacher want to have him in her classroom?
I believe the vast majority of kindergarten teachers truly want to be there every day to help shape young minds (and hearts) because let’s be honest dealing with a room of energetic 5-year-olds all day CANNOT be easy! Beyond wanting to be there each day and bringing a positive energy, we need Jackson’s teacher to want to have him (and his para) in her classroom. I understand that having an inclusive classroom carries complexities and extra work that would not otherwise be present. My hope is that he will have a teacher that will see past his diagnosis straight into his heart, wonderful sense of humor and intelligent mind. I hope for a teacher that will be excited by the world of possibilities for not only Jackson but also the rest of the students too. I hope she is motivated by his potential to grow academically and personally and truly includes him in all classroom activities. I hope she also realizes that the way she treats him is a model for her students to follow. The more she treats Jackson like the rest of the students in her classroom, the more the other students will treat him same as all their other classmates.
If his teacher doesn’t wholeheartedly believe that Jackson is an asset to her classroom and want to learn from him, I worry how well this placement will work. Will she be too easy on him and turn him into a class mascot that doesn’t have to play by the rules and won’t meet his goals? Or, will she be too hard on him and expect that he complete the work without the necessary supports and modifications to the curriculum forcing him to shut down completely. Will her expectations help to push him towards his greatest potential or make him complacent? I am grateful for all the teachers that see the ability in ALL their students and understand the importance of full-inclusion; I hope Jackson will have one of these caring individuals as his teacher.
How will his classmates respond to him?
In preschool, Jackson had a friend that adored him. She would run to the car every day to give him a hug and take his hand to walk with him into school. During playdates, I’ve watched the two of them have full conversations, Jackson is mostly the listening side of the conversation 🙂 but he is engaged and I can see in his eyes that his friend make him happy and confident. I hope more than anything that Jackson will have many classmates this year that will want to be his friend. Not a mommy figure to him or a kid to whom they think they should be nice but don’t really include. I hope for kids that truly want to be his friends because they realize how awesome he is, real friends! But more than whether or not he will have real friendships, I worry that his classmates will make fun of him. But, having witnessed the pure eyes with which his pre school classmates saw him, I am optimistic he will be surrounded by caring classmates. I know having Jackson in their classroom will help them to be more accepting and understanding of all individuals. My hope is that Jackson will share many years of elementary school with his kindergarten classmates and they will always just think of him as Jackson, a great friend who is really fun to be around.
All the standard kindergarten worries and more
I understand kindergarten is a BIG deal and it is hard for almost all parents. For me, and other parents of a child with Down syndrome that I’ve talked to, our worries extend far past where most parents stop stressing. Like an ocean at high-tide countless waves of worry flow into our minds. I like to joke that the “Top 5 List of Worries” other parents have likely wouldn’t even make the “Top 20 List of Worries” that a parent of a child with Down syndrome has. For example, when it comes to lunch, my immediate concern is not will Jackson have a friend to sit with him in the cafeteria (I, of course, hope he does) but when I think about lunch my heart races and my mind fills with many “what if” scenarios like: “what if” he won’t walk all the way to the cafeteria, “what if” he can’t get his lunch box open, “what if” he doesn’t have enough time to finish his lunch (eating quickly has never been Jackson’s way), “what if” he won’t sit the whole lunch period. I could go on and on with other scenarios that play out in my mind daily like will he be safe on the playground, all things related to the potty, how will he respond to the lockdown and fire drills and what would happen in the case of a real emergency? I’ll stop there but I think you get the picture; the worries of a parent of a child with Down syndrome are far more basic and more complex all at the same time.
This is a BIG year!
I worry, of course, how could a chronic worrier not worry about the biggest event to-date in her child’s life. But, the many worries I’ve had about kindergarten have been hushed on several occasions by a heart that knows he is going to grow so much this year and hopefully, love school!
My excitement outweighs my concern. Thinking about the opportunity for him to grow academically and personally outweighs my worries about whether or not he will stay on task and do his work every day. Kindergarten will without a doubt be a year where he talks more, gains more independence and most importantly more self-confidence. I know he will thrive in an environment where he is fully included and valued for the wonderful things he brings. I hope he will come out of his kindergarten year with friendships that will last through his years in elementary school and beyond. I hope he feels a part of the class and is free to express himself. There will be bumps in the road but that is nothing new for us, we can get over bumps, we are used to 4-wheeling through life. So bring on kindergarten, we are ready!