This school year has been a rollercoaster ride; scary, exhilarating, and there have been moments I’ve felt like I was going to puke. But at the end of this school year, as with every rollercoaster I’ve ever ridden, I will appreciate the ride, feel a sense of pride for accomplishing it and, I won’t be as scared for our next rollercoaster ride (1st grade)
Last week we had some low moments. The lowest of which was a comment from one of the individuals that work with Jackson. She said, “Jackson is around the other kids, he isn’t with them.” Those words still sting as I type them, but hearing them for the first time it felt like I had been stabbed in the heart. I anticipate the joyful day when I hear about one of his friends at school and hope and pray for friends that will be with him for the rest of his life. Just because Jackson is shy and content to play on his own, that does not mean he does not know what is going on around him. And just because Jackson talks less than other kids, doesn’t mean he isn’t listening. In fact, Jackson is the best judge of character I have ever met. He also has a keen awareness of non-verbal communication and tone of voice.
As with other moments on this journey, our rain storm this week was followed by a rainbow. Jackson, along with other kids that participate in programs at GiGi’s and would later use the toys, was invited to GiGi’s Playhouse to accept the gifts that a seven-year-old girl was donating. She had asked her guests at her birthday party to bring gifts for the Playhouse instead of birthday gifts for herself. Just being a part of this event was magical. She was so generous at such a young age.
Of course, pictures of this sweet moment were a must. All the kids and the young girl were on the stage with the beautiful blue gift bags filled with toys and games that would be donated to the Playhouse. I was a bit nervous because Jackson loves to unwrap gift bags but, I stepped away and just watched. I wish I was better about having my camera at the ready, but I seldom do, and this was no exception so I wasn’t actively involved in taking photos. (Thanks to another mom for capturing the sweet moment) I will admit, I was a bit of a stage mom telling Jackson to “say cheese.” After a few minutes of photo-taking, the most special moment happened.
As cameras were still going, Jackson spontaneously turned around to the girl that had brought the gifts and confidently started singing “Happy Birthday” directly to her.
In the midst of all the hoopla over the gifts and getting the perfect photo, Jackson brought it all back to what was most important, wishing this generous girl a happy birthday.
We weren’t there to celebrate the toys or for photos. We were there to celebrate this girl who was so generous to donate all of her birthday presents. Jackson understood that perfectly and brought the focus to her.
Reliving the moment back in my mind, my heart bursts with pride at how Jackson never once turned around during the “Happy Birthday” song. He wasn’t putting on a performance. He was genuinely wishing his new friend a happy birthday. He understood fully why we were there and was reminding all of the adults that got caught up in taking photos and talking about all the amazing gifts of the real reason. And in true Jackson fashion, as he has done before, he was showing me that inclusion is working for him. He is building his confidence and independence to participate fully in his life. And, it was as if he knew what had been said of him earlier that week and he was trying to heal my heart. I could not be more proud of Jackson for his many accomplishments, but most importantly for his heart of pure gold! I love having a front row seat to watch his confidence and independence grow. (and to prove all those doubters out there wrong!)